Job Identity Disorder

It is time to bring attention to a little disorder I would like to call Job Identity Disorder. No it is not in the DSM IV nor is there any clinical mumbo jumbo to go with this.  I have been thinking about this topic for a while.  I give credit to a good friend for coming up with the name!

Job identity disorder is simply this.. associating yourself fully and totally with a job or occupation. Losing yourself in your occupation. The victims of this disorder are usually women. Women often associate themselves with their work for as a sense of pride or accomplishment. All in all this is good.. however sometimes we go overboard.

Women often put themselves in a place of helping others. So much so that it goes to the extreme and we lose our own identity. Moms can relate because being a Mom is 24/7. Although we love the job we lose a little of ourselves in it.

 Although it is great to love your work, more often then not it is not healthy.  A healthy balance of work AND family is necessary.  If you depend on your work for your social and meaningful relationships in life you are missing out.  There is more to life than having conversations at the water cooler.

You lose a sense of self when you identify yourself only with your work.

I know a person who clocks himself out at the time to go home and then goes back to his office to finish his paperwork.  He will often stay two hours over to finish something.  Is this dedication?  Not when it is done on a consistent basis.  Either this employee is avoiding his homelife or lack there of, or his self esteem is too wrapped up in his work. 

How do I know about this disorder? I have experience with this! If any of you read my hubs regularly you know that I am a social worker. Yep I am part of the helping profession. We spend our careers helping others.. and we are the ones who get their identities confused with their occupation. Social workers like to put on their capes and go out and save the world just like any other superhero. Unlike the superhero we do not have a secret identity! Our lives get tangled up with others lives as we try to problem solve our way through. We have pagers and cell phones and offices and email.. so we are constantly on the receiving end of al the worlds problems.

Job Identity disorder can be forced upon us by employers, especially when working with people. I worked diligently and faithfully at a residential unit for troubled youth for ten years. My first few years I lived with ten troubled girls for five days a week. Only having two days to myself. I was told during this time that I was one of the most important people to influence a child's life. I worked with those girls with all I had. We built bridges and sleep tents. We went on trips and canoed down the Potomac River. I even had to manage girls who were unruly in a least aggressive manner.

Later on in my career I graduated to case manager and was able to carry the esteemed pager.. a sign that I had truly made it in life!.. Little did I know I would come to curse that thing! I did paperwork and problem solves. I talked with families and did home visits. I went to court and advocated for the youth to return home. I went to basketball, softball games and track meets. And when that pager buzzed at me at 3 AM, I drove two to three hours away to find the girl that ran away from home and bring them back. Then I would document it and turn it all into billing! Oh yes I was the sh**. How could my workplace go on with out me? I ruled.. it was my niche in life.. finally a purpose for me and something I was good at.. I had probably received ten little awards over the years celebrating my good work

In the meantime I got married and had a baby. Everything was humming along. I was taking care of my son, making dinner and talking on the phone to a coworker about work. My social life consisted of attending functions around work and making sure youth got where they need to be. If I went out it was with my coworkers. And while we were out? what did we do but talk a bout work.. glorifying each moment. Oh I and was taking graduate classes too.

Then.. I took another job.. More money..8-4.. and no pager....Things slowed down... I took more time with my family only to discover that my marriage was not what I thought it was. I was so busy being the hero and fulfilling my meager self esteem with kudos from work. I didn't realize how bad things were at home. I fixed everyone else's life but my own. needless to say my marriage ended in divorce.. Ahh Social workers.. we take on others problems to avoid our own.  

I don't have any regrets. I wouldn't have spent my time any other way Those ten years provided me with invaluable experiences. The girls were awesome and I have fond memories of many of them. I would like to think I made a difference. It was all part of the journey that has made me who I am today. The important thing is that I found different way of life and did not subscribe to it for a lifetime.

A lot of us have a need to feel important.. and helping others is a great way to do it. But if we get too engrossed we lose perspective and may not be has helpful as we think. If you want to be a good helper, be a healthy one. Take time out for you and set some limits. If you work with people time is not your own. You go where the problems are. when they occur. Think about how you would fill your time if you did not have other people's problems to solve. Work on accomplishing those goals.

That is what I am doing now. I still have those ten little awards hanging in my current office. Not so much to feel good about my job, but to remember to set limits in my work and stay healthy.

Maybe I will talk to the DSM people about adding this diagnosis to their repetiore  ;)